When I got married a few years ago I vowed not to cheat on my husband; never to love another the way I do him. I pledged a few other things as well (like to not irritate him too much and to make him breakfast on the weekends) but the “love” one is the promise causing me some difficulty today. When I started this blog I swore to myself that I would not allow it to enter into my private life too much, that I would avoid blogging about the really delicate facets of my existence. I am about to break these two very important covenants.
Today I realized I am in love – and unfortunately it is not only with the man I am married to and have a child with. This new love is all-consuming, completely demanding and becoming overwhelming…I am in over my head. It has taken over my heart and my soul in a way that no love has ever done previously. I found myself dreaming of the object of my affections as I slept next to my husband last night, tossing and turning and waking only to realize S. was next to me, and not the one I craved.
This afternoon I came clean with S. After all, I respect him deeply and do care for him a great deal. We have built a life together and as worried as I was that this new love might destroy it all, I had to be honest. I needed to tell him. We sat in the kitchen, and looked across the table at each other, exchanging furtive glances and wondering what the other one was thinking. I passed him a plate of freshly baked cookies in the hopes that they might better prepare him for what I was about to admit. I stumbled over a few words and stopped. I started again, completely unsure as to what I was about to say. I stopped again and took a deep breath.
“…I am in love with my new KitchenAid mixer…”
The silence was deafening…other than the crunching of the cookie in his mouth. He laughed, looked over at the gorgeous, gleaming new mixer on the kitchen table — that I had just used to make some truly delicious chocolate chunk cookie batter — and he smiled. The relief flooded through me. It was okay. I could indeed have more than one love in my life.
I was lucky enough this weekend to upgrade my previous “love”, my KichenAid Artisan mixer, to one of the newest “bowl-lift” models. I am very pleased with it and intend to use it a great deal in the next while. I’m temped to tuck it in next to me in bed tonight, but I think S. might want to draw the line somewhere…”