You’re No Food Network Star!

Posted on Jun 2, 2008

Last week I asked you to all examine your own accident-prone past in your own kitchen(s). For your effort I promised to award one The Next Food Network Star prize package to the most disastrous (but believable) kitchen horror story anyone could come up with.

The scariest stories (yes, she had many) came from Holly of Phemomenon (see below for a copy of her kitchen disaster story).

The prize package, courtesy of The Next Food Network Star includes the following:

1. Cookbook – "Bobby Flay’s Grill It!"
2. Food Network Keychain
3. Next Food Network Star Poster
4. Next Food Network Star Postcard
5. Next Food Network Star T-shirt

Congratulations, Holly!

I have so many stories I could share, but I’ll just concentrate on this past winter.

I have been in quarantine with our preemie son since his birth (2 months early) last October (until abou 1 week ago). Anyway, baking has been my salvation this winter – but sleep deprivation and baking don’t mix very well. I usually end up doing something stupid, or that I just know isn’t going to end well… and then doing it anyway.

So, my story is all about the week before Christmas – and I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I’m not exaggerating here. First I cut two fingers by not paying attention while cutting up tomatoes, then I put a hot from the oven pyrex pie plate into the sink and started to run not hot enough water over it – it exploded, literally (thank goodness it mostly stayed in the sink).

Then, sticking with the exploding glass theme, on Christmas morning I had forgotten to chill a bottle of sparkling cider we were given, so I put it in the freezer and promised myself I would remember it was there… but I didn’t. It exploded and left frozen, sticky slushy cider and green glass shards all over the freezer (still cleaning up after that one).

Finally, also Christmas morning, I had decided to make a new sticky bun recipe. It seemed too big for it’s pan, but I decided it would be alright. Well, then I forgot to put a sheet pan under it to catch any drips. Well, the drips became flat out overflow – and since I have a gas oven and burnt sugar is flammable – I set the oven on fire.

I am still trying to clean this mess up as well – and I even had to unscrew and remove the floor of the oven – which I got to spend the rest of Christmas day trying to clean. (Oh, and I still haven’t been able to get the oven floor screwed back in correctly either. It is being held in place with my heavy pizza stone. I should probably stay out of the kitchen, but I try not to let it get me down!)

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